A Cry to Daddy

Daddy- you said that you would stop smoking
After mommy told you no, no, no
You said okay, that you would.
Then we got all happy and hugged you
Daddy, -and you smiled down at us for the first time.
But then when I got back from school
You stood there, in front of the house
Smoking that vile stick of poison
Into your lungs.
Daddy- you said that you would stop smoking.
But our house now, seems like a factory.
Daddy- the doctor said mommy’s baby might have
some trouble- the baby that is still waiting to be born.
I wake up in the morning-
And instead of sunshine- I see fog.
And the smell-
I can’t breathe daddy. I try so hard to
Close up my lungs- try not to breathe.
I run past the living room, bedroom, bathroom,
All filled with white ghosts that won’t get out.
And all I see- through the fog- is mommy,
Sitting in her little rocking chair,
Rocking her baby, and her worries
Away.
Daddy- you said you would stop smoking.
Do you remember the father and daughter race daddy?
Ready, set, bang! And the race started.
All the fathers ran with all their might,
Their daughters squealing with delight
And you stood there huffing and couldn’t
Run at all...
I felt so embarrassed, Daddy.
People stopped and stared at us,
Because they knew.
They knew.
Daddy- you said you would stop smoking.
I feel so lonely at school, Daddy.
All the kids tease me. I hear teachers whispering behind me.
It hurts so much daddy. They all laugh at me and at mommy, daddy.
But most of all, they laugh at you.
I tell them to stop, stop, stop but their voices
Still are in my dreams.
The teachers asked us who our role models were and
Most kids
Said
Their parents.
But I couldn’t say anything, daddy.
I didn’t.
Because if I had said that you are my role model,
Then that would mean
I would want to start
Smoking.
You said you would stop smoking, Daddy.
That you would stop smoking.
So please stop.